You know sometimes when your heart speaks to you and those things happen. It happens with me most of all time. How do you feel when you know it is spiritual and devotional work but your mood doesn’t support you? You feel like ya ya!! Whatsoever it is, I’m not in the mood to do. (This is how we commit sin)

In the evening, Humidity was on the peek, no wind, I was crazily sweating and my dearest cousin brother cum friend asked me for Vrindavan Parikrama. On the same moment, I thought wow! Crazy!! I thought to say NO but it was somehow a sin, I asked him to postponed parikrama till next morning and let’s go for Sri Radharamanji’s 108 Parikrama.

After had a heavy discussion, Yogesh Goswami won I got ready for parikrama. My body and mood were not supporting me to do this devotional service.

From the beginning of Parikrama I started to bang him by questions while he was chanting. It was my time when I had committed second apraadha. I knew it something would happen to me, but I was assured it would help me to find GOD. If I commit apraadh He would surely come to punish ME. We do karma and He gives the fruit.

After a km or half I got first blister. Wow! First time I am getting this. God doesn’t want to come.. hhmmmm.. When I finished 3 kms parikrama I was kind of dead by humidity, got 4 blisters as so far. My every single step was telling me, “Chandan! You are done, take a rickshaw and go back.” I literally asked Yogesh, “Maharaj Can I please hire one rickshaw.” First time in my life, these things were happening during Vrindavan Parikrama. I was really dead.

Yogesh replied, as you wish, you go! I will catch you at home.

My heart said, Chandan! If God used to come to sinner then each n every sinner would be a saint. Soon the day comes when you would feel HIM. Be practical and don’t commit sins.

I was surprised, Yogesh is giving parikrama after couple of years and he is not getting any blisters and Chandan YOU?? 4?

From that moment I decided. NO rickshaw, NO support, I have to prove I can do anything for God. It was really hard; my pain was getting really worse. I wanted to cut my legs. Will-power was there, but we can’t do everything by only will-power. We need to be physically strong enough to face the reality.

It was hard to concentrate but it would be only the way to forget the pain. After a short break, I became capable to chant His name and somehow gave Parikrama. Overall, whole experience of parikrama was weird though. But my heart was enlightened with the Hope to see HIM soon.

Tags: Braj, Braja, Brij, Chandan Goswami, Gaudiya, Jai Gaur, Radha raman, radha ramana, radharamana, Sri Radharaman, Temple, Vrija, Vrindavan