Seva Mahotsav was finishing on 15th of December 2008, and I had my first official Srimad Bhagwat Katha from 18th of December. I needed to prepare for that. For the first time I was going to face thousands of devotees and it was officially the time for me to act as a spiritual master. Due to the preparations I needed to do for this katha, I took a few days off from the altar. However, during this time, Lord Krishn played His lila on me. There was one very sincere devotee who I had blind faith on and I used to think that he is a role model for new devotees and that he could be a good inspiration for anyone but after I took my days off the alter, I found out few of his lies on some issues. I tried to calm myself down and asked him to confess as I had all the evidence lying in front of me, which was proving him to be a big time liar. He started to make false stories to prove himself right and I was shocked and felt used. On every one of his lies, I was feeling as if someone was stabbing me behind my back and I didn’t want to believe that a sincere devotee like him could speak lies. I got so disturbed. All of my followers and near & dear ones know I hate lies. If one can’t speak the truth in this world, is there any chance of that person speaking the truth to God? God resides in everyone’s heart. If we are lying to His devotees, we actually are lying to Him. I started to think, why did I even think to make him a role model for my devotees when she is lying to me after I gave him plenty of chances to confess? What kind of scriptures did he study till now? What kind of association has he had? I got so disturbed and started to point my finger on his every step. I started to think why is there any need to lie?

Due to this incident, I stopped my studies. On 17th December I reached Agra city where this katha was going to be held. I was completely unprepared. My disciples asked me if I was ready to speak or not after they saw my condition. I said that as the date is fixed and I have given my word nothing will change. I will not take a step back, either I am ready or not. I am ready to face this challenge. It is the Lord’s illusion and I’m here to recite Srimad Bhagwatam which is non different from the Lord. If the Lord wants me to recite katha, He would let me do it. On 18th December, everyone was busy in preparation and my Guru Maharaj came to attend the program. Before starting the Shrimad Bhagwatam procession, Guru Maharaj asked me if I needed any kind of help. I was so hopeless because I didn’t prepare anything. I didn’t know what would I speak. I asked him to give me some tips. Lastly He said that an Acharya don’t take any tension an that God will show you the right way.

Confidence is the key of my every success. I was confident but wasn’t prepared well enough. After the procession the katha started. It was my first time sitting on the Vyas Aasan and acting as a Guru. After giving the first days class, I went to Gurudev to touch his feet. He took me on the side, and asked me where the nectar was in my katha?  He was disappointed after attending my first days katha. But in a sweet way he realized my mistakes. After he left, I met my maternal uncle who spoke on all my mistakes. I didn’t speak a single word to either of them because on the other hand I was trying to work on that devotee and pushing him to confess for the sake of God. My first impression was bad. After having a long talk with my uncle, I went to meditate and focus on reality. Everyone had big hopes from me and I didn’t want to let them down. After finishing my second days katha I saw the face of one of my followers who looked a bit disturbed, I felt his feelings and he wasn’t happy with the way I was giving class. On the third day I stopped thinking about that boy and focused on my katha. I felt as if this boy was like an illusion and diverting my mind from Harikatha.

I found such a big change in me as well as in the audience. On the first day, a local devotee of Agra told me that not more than 20 people will attend my katha because in the past many big Katha speakers had orgnised their katha in the same venue and never got any success. I replied to them, “Let’s see, God organize this katha and He is listening to the katha. So, I’m not in any tension.”
On my third day, everyone started to jump like anything. They started to feel the big change and were getting the nectar of Hari Katha. After I ignored this boy, he actually came to confess me. I almost fainted seeing the Lord’s lila. I was like… God! What kind of lila is this? The next day, I found my answer in Srimad Bhagwtam, “If you go to maya, you will not get anything. If you come to Me, you will find the real nectar.” On the fourth day, which was the day of Janmastami according to Srimad Bhagwatam and was a Sunday too, I came for katha and found more than a thousand devotees sitting and waiting to hear my katha. I looked at those local devotees and they were speechless.

From that day, the Agra local tv channel started to broadcast my katha and all the big personalities of Agra started to come. Many of them used to escape their offices to hear katha.

On the last day, I remember that moment when I was leaving and devotees were crying and running behind my car. They were touching my feet, grabbing to hug me, crying for more hari katha. The love, the care, the affection I got from them in 7 days is unforgettable.

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